24 November 2012

Red Light

It's been a long struggle.  Starting and stopping... a lot...mainly stopping.

I'm going to give it a go again.

I know I don't want to be this size but I can't find away to keep myself on track.  i tried going to the gym early and I have one week of longer days and I stop.  I tried going around 400pm to avoid the rush and that worked for a bit but i just stopped.

For while I find myself able to not drink a soda and then it starts with a diet coke-- coke zero-- 100 cal can of coke-- can of coke-- 20oz bottle and boom i'm stocking 2 litres in house.

Or no soda or sugar drinks and then i get a fresh brewed tea-sans sucre-- and i'm like wow this is great and next thing i know i'm 3 servings in and the last one would make sweet tea a kind description.

or i go and try yoga and its awesome  and spiritual and this is my speed but its way cross town and how do i get ready for work form there and blammo i stop.

The only thing I have really quit was smoking...that took a number of tries and i had to break myself of habit smoking--after eating, stressed at work etc...and well i stopped.  The need for smoking was gone--yes i slip but thats like 1-3 days a year tops.

How do i get to the gym and eat better?

I'm already a gym member at work.  I have to stop soda-- God what kind of crack is this drink!  How to I avoid soda and go to the gym?

I'm writing this because I have disappointed my  mom and my friends too many times.  I'm hoping that by putting it down i see a way forward.

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